Monday, May 17, 2010

“Foolish Heart”

Life is losing flavor
I’m beginning to hate myself as I stare into the mirror
Death fills my lungs as I seek out happiness so desperately
The scar that will always burn in me, the rest of my life was…

In motion

Like a flickering candle
But the wax melted too quickly
And the flame submitted to darkness
I should be finding ways to enjoy my freedoms again
But I’m aching because I was never meant to fly solo
I can make it on my own but I’ve got romance in my veins
So I’m trapped in this prison, waiting for a new flame
The wind’s chill is a constant reminder that today is not the day
And they roll their eyes and shake their heads at my words
Maybe I’m psychotic; maybe I just can’t control my heart
Is love my vice? Am I doing things all wrong?
Oh patience, you’re really doing a number on me.
Look at the clock, mocking me with a cadence
Like a mechanical heartbeat, on time every time
The sun hurts my eyes and so does all of this

So maybe one of these days I’ll change my tune
And I can be without my harrowing headaches

I wish I could speak to my heart, I’d like to kindly explain that I wish it would refrain from feeling this way because I don’t know how to be okay. You shouldn’t even be longing for this again because it’s so daunting; to love again and be brave are you even sure you can be saved? Are you still waiting on a hero? You think she can pick you up from zero?

Foolish heart, is it better to lose love and long for it once more or long for it forever to never have lost it?

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