“Helium in My Veins”

“Hey there young one, head up high as you march on”

He smiles as his hand extends to my shoulder from the sky

“It’s easier to fall than it is to fly, don’t you think?”

The other laughs as the angels leave the sky an empty blue

“Crushed below the shadow of a dream again aren’t I?”

I mumble to myself as I start to realize I’m not alone

I can’t help but laugh in the face of disaster as my eyes open

I’m a burning star and I can’t see the past my own flame

My headaches and heartbreaks are a shattering reminder

That I’m a volatile disaster, wrecking havoc upon myself

Sorrow intensified by an uneasy swarm of tiny thoughts

But the dawn will always follow even the darkest of nights

My wings are made of endless potential and aspiration

Demons lash out as I walk my path, but I pay them no mind

For the trees will survive as their leaves decorate the ground

And your heart will survive as your tears decorate your pillow

Honest, I’m finding a happiness sifting around inside of me

The deity watches me and my legion follows closely behind me

I’m done giving up on myself and I’m done giving up on you

“Version 6”

So I’m left here alone in this bed

Unconscious in this anxious head

Seemed like the future was so clear not so long ago

Was it all a dream?

Where now do the ghosts go, because I’d like to know

When time refuses to flow, will I be left to my sorrow

A serpent in my conscious tells me many things

While my heart is in no condition to help me

Look, I’ve found a way out of this

Oh yeah, a way to live again

I’m just wondering why I can’t just skip to chapter eleven

When I’m getting sick and losing sleep on chapter seven

I admire myself at this point, because I didn’t know I was so strong

I’m aiming for the horizon this time because I know that’s where I belong

“Conqueror”

The dream becomes a miasma and tickles the fabric of reality

As the agony buries its razor sharp teeth into the flesh, ripping

Insanity echoes violently through the caverns of consciousness

Greeted at the gates by the harrowing and slain in its tracks

“Open your eyes” you hear yourself call out from a distance.

Misery tornados ravage the lands as the eyes fix upon the sky

The corroding terrain escapes the lips of deceit and controversy

Somewhere at the ends of the darkness the light shows itself, alas

Choking, the foundation of what once was startles its own heart

“Step forward” you hear yourself again, a little closer now.

Terror reigns supreme when doubt corrodes the mind

Agony is sovereign when explanation is begged upon

The back is turned and clarity rushes in like a torrent

Embrace the chaos and control fails the grip of dire life

“Unleash yourself” you hear from over your shoulder.

Life flourishes as the seeds are sewn upon the healing wounds

Believe, betray, become the arch nemesis of times now lost

The winds beckon and bellow before they overcome the desire

The body rises above all that has consumed the radiant heart

"The Blackout"

I try and I try, I give you all I’ve got

And it’s so meaningless in your eyes

Like you suddenly don’t care at all

And I’m down in this hole with no escape

With misery all around me, caving in

Filling my lungs with bitter death

My heart turning to stone with each beat

Bearing fists as I try to fathom this torture

Anger taking hold of me like a hurricane

As my love becomes a punishment

This agony is latched onto my back

And I still love you, even when it hurts like this

"Love, I Have Come Alive. Love, I Will Thrive."

Three seasons die the same year they are born,
But the cold carries on, facing its inevitable doom.
With a heart of frost and a choir of shades in bloom,
It hangs on to dear love, across the valley of thorn.

The enemy whispers in our fragile minds today.
"Trees turned to sticks and lakes turned to marsh.
Dawn to dusk the silence enfolds a scene so harsh."
Oh, misguiding fiend, you have everything to say.

Love, I have come alive. Love, I will thrive.
I wish you could see my heart beating for you.
I wish you could see my soul burning for you.

Survive yet, oh breather, find your way back.
Listen careful, oh refuser, even the dead live again!
Letting this tower crumble apart would be giving in.
You see, only together will there be nothing to lack.

Thus, my heart has found a way back beating.
And alas, my tongue will not speak as my rival.
Tarry your aching head, and we shall have our revival.
The assailant breeding inside is aiming and defeating

Love, I have come alive. Love, I will thrive.
I wish you could see my heart beating for you.
I wish you could see my soul burning for you.

As winter among many summers, I will rise.
As spring among many falls, you will survive.

"Razor Blades, Laser Glades"

My accursed heart just isn't worth the effort, is it?

My love lays in silence and basks in the worries of the day.

Eight tentacles around my neck, mouthing "just forfeit!"

Breathless words wasted when all I should do is pray

Where in the world did I leave it

The light is slipping through my fingers

I swear to God if I catch on fire...

How did you know where to look?

My reprehensible actions contained

Within a shadow that only you can see

That octopus is staring straight at me again

As I rip out my heart and lock it away tonight

I'm seeing a way out of this filthy life of sin

Draw me closer, oh Lord, draw me into the light

I have made new enemies with uncertainty

It's hard not to trip when all the lights are out

Merciful heart, there is hope just below the surface

The oath you took; Those two words ringing in my head

How could it be just temporary or is it just me?

I've taken you for granted and here I am, undone

I don't know how to stop the sun from falling down

Seems like I can't get the point across anyway

Hands on my shoulders, forcing a smile when I should frown

In my anguish there isn't anything more I could say

I just want you to understand how much you mean to me

My love for you is unending; this is my superhuman heartache

Eyelids grow heavy upon listening to my own pleas once more

Days melting like plastic figurines, helpless to the merciless flames

Everyday begging my heart to leave me be, even just for a while

I'll bury that thing in the dirt if I have to, but I'm at a loss for words

“Strong Enough For Two”

According to this calendar, I’ve lost track of myself and I’ve found a hole to hide in

I’ve fallen so far, I can’t even recognize myself anymore and it scares me to death.

It’s like I’ve been in a waiting room for all this time when all I had to do was step outside.

The darkness came like a cold breeze, relentlessly shivering up my spine

I could taste death on my lips as sorrow’s hand wrapped around my neck

But this is not the end (It’s so far from it) I will not give in and I will rise up to the sky

As God tailors my new set of shining armor, I’m nowhere near the collapse

I know I can’t blame you for giving up on me,

Because I would have long ago!

But I can be superhuman

Strong enough for you,

Oh, Strong enough for two!

It’s like I’ve been living with a broken image, side by side with myself

Locked in as it starred me down every single day

But that shadow no longer follows me and all I had to do was turn this light on

Coincidentally, the path before me lit right up, plated in gold, and I invite you to join me

Whenever you’re ready, just say the word. (Just say the word)

I know I haven’t been trustworthy, and I probably don’t even deserve another shot

But I’m only human and I’ve come this far (I’m come so far)

I know I can’t blame you for giving up on me,

Because I would have long ago!

But I can be superhuman

Strong enough for you,

Oh, Strong enough for two!

I can show you where I got this armor if you’d like

I feel like the me I never knew I could be (Never knew, never knew I had it in me)

I feel like I’ve finally found myself and I was there waiting all along

No more breathing like every breath is my last

No more seething, it’s time to overcome

“This Little Fire Of Mine…”

As he reaches down from the clouds,

I can feel myself breaking like shattering glass.

But he reignited that little fire inside of me.

Much like that blaze we had once upon a time.

I’ve got to carry it with me wherever I go.

I’ll shield it from the weather as I carry on;

Through these cyclones and storms of misery.

Even when you’ve given up, I’m standing tall.

I’ll press forward with enough strength for us both.

Even when this ring around my finger feels like it’s around my neck,

You may not understand it, but I've got hope and I’m not going to bury it.

The demons laugh as they lead us astray but cower in fear as we pray.

“Chapters”

I feel like I’ve been in a daze, lost within a never-ending dream

I’ve never felt so helpless; I think I’m drowning inside my head

It feels like the shadows twisted around under our feet and now stand before us

My embrace used to make you feel so comfortable and alive

Now I feel like my arms are slowly crushing you to death

My embrace used to be all that you needed (and it can be again!)

Now it seems like it’s just holding you back (I’ll never hold you back again!)

I could never apologize enough for what I’ve let myself become

If I could go back in time I’d wrap my fingers around my own neck

How could this happen

This is my book and I’m the author

How could you let this happen?

“Dear child, calm your restless mind. You are but the subject and this is but a chapter. Let me be your author and I will write your history the way it should be.”

Oh Father, Father I understand what you say but it’s just so hard to let go

I feel like the land is melting away and my life's gonna detonate

I’ve tasted the honey and now the bees are angry with me

Is there no way to put these shattering mirrors back together?

I’ll pick up every piece and I don’t care if it takes me forever!

I’d relive my whole life just for a chance to fix all of this!

I could never apologize enough for what I’ve let myself become

If I could go back in time I’d respond in an instant to your sorrow

How could this happen

This is my mirror and I’ll mend her

How could you let this happen?

“Dear child, calm your restless mind. If you fix a broken mirror yourself it will still bear the cracks and scars but, if let me do it, I will make it more beautiful than ever."

Oh Father, Father I leave this in your hands for I know that I must

Take my contorted thoughts from me and instill the patience I crave

I know what I must do and I must let you do your work in peace

My shaking hands could never reassemble my shattering heart

Take from us our hearts of stone, Oh Father and gift us anew

For us both I pray for the glow of clarity and tranquility once more