“Dry Throat, Clenched Teeth”

I’m struggling to stand on my two feet

My fingernails digging into the dirt again

I can’t do this alone and I never could have

I need a hand tonight, I need a shoulder

I need to feel better I can’t feel better

Giving up is just too easy

This has gone on too long

Where is the end of this struggle?

Why must you take the easy way out?

Just this once, hear my plea!

I’m calling out on my knees!

I need to feel better I can’t feel better

Giving up is just too easy

This has gone on too long

Like you fell off the earth, you’re gone

But let me tell you that you still live on

My heart is growing and beating strong

You’ll never kill this heart, don’t even try

“The Antidote”

He grins as his hands move forward

Fingers dancing for the feast to come

The subject just sits in silence, unaware

Given up and given in

His most terrible sin

He cackles madly as the prey submits

The twisted one injects him with venom

Now a delusional pawn, he drags his feet along

Skies darken as the enemy rises up above

Caught off guard, they unravel upon the floor

Like lost diamonds scattered about the sand

Given up and given in

His most terrible sin

Awake, he is dazzled no more by this hex

For this is the night of the divine sword

Restore in him his vitality, merciful deity

Regret him not, fair maiden for he will thrive

His broken, battered soul will survive

With the holy glow inside, he’s come alive

Living at last, his heart is burning for you

No longer a life in darkness, out of the blue

On the wings of clarity he reigns true

The antidote is what he’s needed all along

Say what you will, beast, but he is strong

The glory cuts like a blade and is never wrong

Given up and given in

Fallen once but never again

“I Am Not The One”

So I’m waking up all over again with a new and different headache each day

Wondering when I’ll find my place in this broken world, oh I’m so close

I feel it

I’m so tired of being at the bottom of your list

Like everything means more than I do

More than I do

I’m not running anymore and I am not the one

Seeing clearly now and I’m not letting you walk all over me

I’m so through with it all; I’m so ready for a new flavor in my mouth

Here comes the flood and I should be far ahead by now

I find myself tangled in your web of memories, draining the life out of me

Cut the cord, relax your heart, take a deep breath and get up

Girl, best of luck to you and goodbye

I’m not running anymore

and

I am not the one

I am not the one

I am not the one

Tugging on me like a ravaging monstrosity

This acceptance is hard to swallow

I’m fallen to the maw of avoidance

I hope you’re happy with your decisions

Because this heart is void of you

No more falling down

Because I am not the one

“Breathing”

My fists loosen and catch the falling rain

You’re there like a ghost on a reel of film

They may not believe it but I feel it in me

It’s the way I felt about you, Jessica

I’ll always remember and I’ll always love you

These are the trials and the tribulations

I’m alive and I’m breathing, stronger than ever

Arise, injured phoenix, and learn to love again

The shadows may take us but we will survive

So long as we persevere in all that we do

The road ahead is a long one, dearest friend

Where the shades whisper, I am reborn

“Tornados & Headaches”

So all of these wonderful memories of you plague my aching head,

My eyes catch on fire and my throat dries up like a river

It’s like I’m stuck under this dark cloud with no end in sight

Like it’s coming down, crushing on me

I’m finding out that it’s migraine season now

My lonely fingers fidgeting with a ring

That isn’t there anymore; like a phantom limb

But today is the day I am letting go

I’m going to stand back up

I’ve got a tornado in my head

Like I’m spinning around

All the things that you said

But this had to happen

To find my true soul mate

She must be out there

He is telling me

So I’m done

Hanging on

I let go

“The Bitter End”

When I look back I see everything I wanted, everything I needed

And I’m still trying to figure this out

How can you just take my heart and ball it up just to throw it away?

Where were you when I loved you?

Do you not understand?

It was so good and this is so fixable but you don’t even want to try

So just throw me away like garbage, apparently

It’s over, it’s over and you don’t even care

Like I’m supposed to be just fine

I’m stronger than ever and I still can’t take this

Though, I’m amazed I’m still standing

Oh God, now would be the perfect time to take us away

Take us away from this forsaken planet

Where love is so transformational

My eyes can’t take another glance

My heart can’t take another beat

So this is it not even one chance

So this is it, your craved defeat

The answer to your question: Just give up, just give up

It felt so right so why the hell was it so wrong

I don’t understand and I never will

This is killing me, killing me all over again

When all I wanted to do was love you

You couldn’t keep your eyes on the prize, girl

Instead you see the failure and accept it

For some reason and it makes no sense, at all

Because you said you would, you said you would

For better or worse and where does this leave me?

So here I am, broken again and again and again

Like I can take a beating over and over and keep breathing

This is not what I dreamed of, you would be so disappointed

If I brought you from the past to see all of this

You’d be so disgusted

You’d be so disgusted!!!

“Helium in My Veins”

“Hey there young one, head up high as you march on”

He smiles as his hand extends to my shoulder from the sky

“It’s easier to fall than it is to fly, don’t you think?”

The other laughs as the angels leave the sky an empty blue

“Crushed below the shadow of a dream again aren’t I?”

I mumble to myself as I start to realize I’m not alone

I can’t help but laugh in the face of disaster as my eyes open

I’m a burning star and I can’t see the past my own flame

My headaches and heartbreaks are a shattering reminder

That I’m a volatile disaster, wrecking havoc upon myself

Sorrow intensified by an uneasy swarm of tiny thoughts

But the dawn will always follow even the darkest of nights

My wings are made of endless potential and aspiration

Demons lash out as I walk my path, but I pay them no mind

For the trees will survive as their leaves decorate the ground

And your heart will survive as your tears decorate your pillow

Honest, I’m finding a happiness sifting around inside of me

The deity watches me and my legion follows closely behind me

I’m done giving up on myself and I’m done giving up on you